Remember Me
by almister12
Summary: Killian asks why Emma wears a shoelace around her wrist and a swan keychain around her neck.


As Killian rolled over to the left of Emma, breathing heavily, he gave her a big smile. "Swan… You're bloody amazing."

"You're not too bad yourself, Killian." Emma, panting just as hard as the man next to her, turned her head to look at him. When his eyebrow peaked, she slapped his chest, teasing his cockiness. Killian laughed, turning to his side and resting his head on his hand, his stump in the open between them.

When their breaths finally came back to a normal, slower speed, Killian was the first to talk. "Can I ask you something?" Emma shifted towards him, and he started rubbing his handless arm up and down her bare side.

Goosebumps trailed Emma's hip with each stroke. Biting her lower lip, Emma nodded. His serious tone worried her, and she didn't know what to expect.

Killian sat up in a pretzel position. Emma looked him up and down before sitting up and leaning against the bed frame, keeping the blanket over her body as if to cover everything from him. "Is everything okay, Killian?" she asked, throwing the blanket over his bottom half to keep her from being distracted. Killian gave a naughty grin, but shifted to keep himself covered.

His face dropped. "Well, I just feel like you haven't been completely honest with me…" he said, looking down at his stump, rubbing it with his right hand. "And I've been very honest with you."

Emma's eyes opened. "What are you talking about?" Emma racked through her brain to figure out what exactly Killian thought she lied about. "You're the one person I am always truthful with."

Killian reached out and grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb over the shoelace that was wrapped tightly around her pale skin. "What is this?" he asked. "I've never seen you go somewhere without it."

Emma looked down at her bracelet, pulling it out of his soft grip as if he was going to hurt it. "It's nothing."

Killian leaned in to her. "See? You're not being completely honest with me," he said. "I know when you're not telling the truth, love, and right now, you aren't."

Emma let out a deep sigh. "Why do you want to know?"

Killian grabbed Emma's hand again and brought her wrist up to his mouth, kissing the bracelet softly. "Because I want to know everything about you."

Emma's heart tugged as she realized how much the man next to her meant to her. She didn't really need Graham's shoelace anymore. At first it was a reminder to stay strong, to believe in herself when the road seemed dark. But Killian has created greater light than she had ever had in the past, and now the shoelace lost it's original purpose.

With great effort, Emma started unwinding the string from her wrist, taking it off and rolling it into a ball, throwing it towards the garbage can by the door, missing it completely. Her sad eyes followed a path straight to the shoelace, but didn't make a sound in fear her voice would crack.

Killian immediately got up and went over to the trashcan, grabbing the lace and coming back to the bed. After settling in next to Emma, his back now on the headboard like hers, he grabbed Emma's arm and started wrapping the string around her wrist again, tying it with his teeth and one hand. "I didn't ask you to do that," he started. "I just want to know why you wear it."

"It was Graham's shoelace." Emma said, barely allowing him to finish his sentence. "He died in my arms and, I don't know why, but I decided to keep it as a reminder of him." She shifted in the bed, looking at her wrist again. "I don't need it or anything. It's just kind of there." Keeping her head down, she brought her eyes back up to his face.

He kissed her in between her eyebrows. "See, was that so hard?" he asked. When Emma shook her head no, Killian pulled her so she was leaning her bare body against his. "Who is Graham?" he asked next.

Emma swallowed the lump that gathered in her throat. She hadn't told him about Graham yet. Not because she didn't want Killian to know about him, but that she didn't know how to tell him. She loved Killian with all her heart and, even if Graham were still alive right now, she would choose Killian. But, for some reason, she could never bring herself to say the words to him.

"He was the sheriff in town before I got here. I was his deputy for a couple weeks."

Killian sat there for a bit, not saying anything. "Ah, I've heard talk of him. Why is the shoelace of a sheriff you knew for a couple weeks so special?" Killian turned to face her. "I'm only wondering."

"Because I thought he was more than that. I started to fall for him, I loved him." Emma took a deep breath. "Hard, too. Apparently, when you're the product of true love, you fall for someone quickly."

Killian's breath hitched just a bit, enough for Emma to feel it. She sat up completely to face him. "That's not what I meant," she said, mortified by what she just admitted. "Killian, you know how much I care for you."

Killian turned away, clearly upset that she admitted to falling in love so quickly with Graham while it took Killian two years to get her to fall in love with him. She lifted herself off the bed to straddle him. "This is too deep of a conversation for right now, Killian. I have a more fun activity I'd like to do with you." She leaned down, brushing her lips across his mouth.

Killian responded, rolling her body to the bed so he could hover over her. They kissed like this for a little bit before Killian pulled away, holding himself up with his left arm and bringing his right hand to touch the swan keychain around her neck. "Where did you get this?"

Emma brought her hand up to touch the keychain, brushing the hand that was still surrounding it. Neal was always a sensitive topic between them. Killian wasn't jealous, per se, but there was a little bit in him that hurt whenever he thought about them. "Neal gave it to me, back when I was 17." Emma responded.

"And you still wear it?" Killian asked, rolling off of her and sitting up again. Emma nodded, her body annoyed that he was stopping. "Why?"

"Neal died, too."

"That's not really what I asked, love." Killian looked away from her. "Why do you wear it?"

"I don't know…" Emma began, but when Killian shot a look back at her, she started over. "I wore it for years to remind myself not to trust anyone. You broke down that wall though, Killian. I trust people again because of you." Emma hoped that was all he needed, but when he didn't say anything, she continued. "Now, it reminds me of him. As much as I hated him for years, I've always loved him." She saw the pain in Killian's face, so she started to reach behind her neck to take it off. "I can put this away," she said as she opened the nightstand drawer and started to put it in.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Killian's voice began to rise.

Emma stopped where she was and looked at him. "What do you mean?" Emma was surprised by the tone he was using with her. He rarely talked to her with that much frustration.

"You keep trying to hide the things that make you who you are. I don't want you to change for me. I just want to know why you always wear that necklace and bracelet!"

"Why does it matter? They're just accessories!" Emma heard her voice starting to rise. "What do you want me to say? That they're there to remind myself of my old boyfriends? That sometimes they help me get through the day? That they help me remember the people that I loved?"

Killian stood up and found his way over to the pair of boxers that were stripped earlier. "No, that isn't what I want," he nearly whispered. He turned and walked through the door, not acknowledging her on his way out and down the stairs.

Emma felt tears pooling in her eyes. She got dressed in a pair of pink polka dot shorts and a grey beater, ignoring undergarments completely, so she could run after and follow him as quickly as possible. He was sitting by himself on a barstool by the island, his hand lazily drawing circles on the countertop. Emma came over and sat down, grabbing his right hand with her left and reaching her right hand out to bring his face to look at her. She brushed the hair out of his wet eyes and pulled him in for a short kiss. "Killian, you know how much you mean to me." He nodded, still looking at her. "Then why does it matter if I wear a silly keychain and a stupid shoelace?"

"Do you really not understand?" Killian asked.

Emma shook her head. "I don't love them anymore, Killian." Emma was now stroking his prickly beard. "I don't have to wear them, if you don't want. Or I can wear them – I really don't know what you want from me!" Emma was searching his face.

"You said you loved them, multiple times tonight." Killian's voice was quiet, but he still looked straight into her face. "But you have not once said you loved me." He brought his good hand to touch the shoelace. "You said that they're just silly objects you wear," his hand now followed her body up until it was touching the keychain. "But you don't wear anything to remind you of me." His sad eyes could no longer look at her.

Emma stopped breathing. "Killian, I say it all the time!"

"No, you don't. You say you care for me. You say I mean something to you. You even say "_You, too"_ if I say I love you. But you have not once said the actual words to me. Before tonight, I never heard you say the words about a man, and I thought that was just who you were. But you said it so many times tonight, without even batting an eye." He stood up and started to pace the room, walking mindlessly around.

Emma stood up and went over to him, forcing him to stop walking and to look at her. "I love you, Killian Jones. So much, more than I loved both of them combined." Emma stood on her tiptoes so she could kiss him. "I love every part of you." Emma pecked his left cheekbone. "I love how eloquent you are." She kissed him a little farther down jaw. "I love how caring you are." She kissed him in the middle of his chin. "I love how patient you are." She trailed a kiss up his other side. "I love this whole situation." She smiled as she drew circles above his body before continuing to kiss his cheekbone. "I even love how jealous you are."

Killian didn't move, although his body seemed less tense than before. She now went to his ear and whispered, "And I especially love everything you do with me up there, and I don't know why we're down here when we could be up there." She nodded her head to the stairs towards their bedroom, but suddenly became serious again. "I love you, okay?"

Killian's mouth tugged up, but fell again. "Okay," he said. Emma could tell something was still bothering him.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well, you don't have anything to remember me by." Killian noted.

"I don't need to remember you. You're right here with me." Emma said, hoping that was what he wanted to hear.

"I'd still like you to wear something, so everyone knows that you're mine."

Emma, not really seeing the point, replied, "Of course. I would love something to wear. Did you have anything in mind? Neal gave me the keychain and I took Graham's shoelace. What do you want me to wear?"

Killian smiled and snapped his finger. "I have the perfect thing. Stay here, love." He pecked her cheek before turning around.

Emma watched as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time to get there faster, and coming out a few minutes later, his hand surrounding the new item she agreed to wear. His whole hand covered it, so she didn't know what she should expect, but she would wear anything he asked.

When he made it in front of her, he brushed his stump along her face with a huge grin on his face. "Are you going to show me what you want me to wear?" She asked, anxious to find out what was in his hand.

He brought his hand in front of her and shifted the object up until it was pinched between his thumb and index finger. "I took this when we were up on the beanstalk," he said. Emma paused while she watched Killian lower himself onto one knee, holding a beautiful diamond ring in his hand.

"Emma, I love you so much, more than even my _eloquence_ could describe. You are everything to me, and I want to be everything for you. I want to be there when you're sick, when you're healthy. I want to be there when you go on adventures." Killian chuckled. "I want to watch little pirate toddlers running around the room with swords." Emma was still staring between Killian and the ring, alternating views of each. "Emma Swan, will you marry me?"

Without a second thought, Emma nodded, unable to find her voice to do anything else. Killian smiled as he pushed the ring onto her third finger, it fitting perfectly around her. He stood up and brought her back into a long, deep, passionate kiss. They stayed that way for a while, only parting for quick breaths, before he pulled away to look at her face. He was trying to decide if her face showed any signs of hesitation or nervousness, but there was nothing there. Only a huge smile.

"No swords." Emma said.

"Wooden swords." Killian replied.

Emma kissed him again, very shortly. "No swords."

"We'll talk about it when the time comes." Killian winked at his new fiancé.

Emma looked at her hand. "It's beautiful, I love it," she shifted her fingers to see all the lights shining and dancing around it. "It's the perfect thing for me to wear."

"Not as perfect as you, my Swan." Killian lifted her hand to touch the ring to his mouth. "Please don't try to take off the keychain or shoelace unless you want to. I want you to remember them, to remind you what love is. Don't take them off for me."

Emma nodded. "I may take them off some day. But this," she lifted her hand for dramatic effect, "will never come off. Ever. And I will be able to look at it and think of you anytime I want."

"I love you, Emma Swan." Killian said, bringing her in for a hug.

Emma pulled him tighter. "I love you, too, Killian Jones."


End file.
